What are Catholics afraid of, angels or demons?

The Pope is said to be the "Vicar of Christ," which means he represents Christ on Earth. Talk about having a direct pipeline to God!

You would think, that being the case, that the Roman Church could relax a bit, go with the flow, and let God, through himself/his son/Christ/the holy ghost and the Pope take care of minor problems with a light touch and a sense of humor.

But noooooo. The Roman Church comes down on minor problems like a hammer! Makes one think that maybe this vicar of Christ and pipeline to god stuff is not all that it's cracked up to be!

What the hell am I talking about?

You will remember, I'm sure, that when the media got wind of the making of the movie, The Da Vinci Code, there was a proverbial "firestorm of controversy." Which immediately led millions of people who had never heard of the book run to their nearest bookstore, plunk down their hard-earned cash, go home and then stay up all night reading the damn thing 'cause it was so interesting and titillating.

The author, Dan Brown, didn't go anywhere. He sat in his chair, sipping a martini, counting his money.

The Roman Church, though, went into survival mode. The book isn't true, said the Catholic poohbahs. The story about Jesus and Mary Magdalene is false, said the Catholic censors. The idea that Jesus had a child is nonsense said the Pope's own vicars.

God was not heard from.

All these churchly negatives created an even greater desire on the part of the public to buy and read the book and Dan Brown got richer than Croesus.


It wasn't long before some people pointed out that the book was fiction. That means, for Catholic poohbahs reading this blog, that it wasn't true. It wasn't even "based on fact." It was made up in Dan Brown's head. Oh sure, he used some characters from what's called the New Testament gospels, but he never pretended his story told their "true" story. Well, maybe he pretended a little - you know - to stir up a hornet's nest to see how many would get bitten and go buy more books and make him humongous amounts of money.

Smart guy, Mr. Brown!


Most people know that Brown wrote a prequel to The Da Vinci Code, called Angels & Demons. That never was as popular as The Da Vinci Code. I thought it was a good book, though, even if The Da Vinci Code was better. And enough people bought it to make Mr. Brown more millions of dollars.

Now the same people who made the movie, The Da Vinci Code, are making a movie of Angels & Demons. Ron Howard is directing again, and Tom Hanks has the lead although the leading lady has been replaced by Israeli actress, Ayelet Zurer.

But those Catholic poohbahs learned a lesson! They're not going to be fooled twice. And they're not going to be nice! So they said NO, that the film's producers may not film in the churches of Santa Maria del Popolo and Santa Maria della Vittoria as requested.

This happened last year, but the film was delayed because of the writer's strike so it's just now becoming "news."

So why won't the Roman Catholics let the Angels & Demons' producers film in those two churches? Because, said Monsignor Marco Fibbi, speaking for the diocese, "It's a film that treats religious issues in a way that contrasts with common religious sentiment. We would be helping them create a work that might well be beautiful but that does not conform to our views."

Huh? What in the world is "common religious sentiment," and what "views" is he talking about?

You know. "Common religious sentiment" is the phrase Catholic poohbahs use when they don't want to get specific. And the "views" of the Catholic Church are wide and varied, so that doesn't tell us much, either.

I'd guess the problem is that Angels & Demons deals with "an ancient secret brotherhood called the illuminati, code-cracking, a papal conclave and a high-tech weapon threatening to destroy the Vatican."

Now that would conflict with Catholic "common religious sentiment" - at least from the papal view. More so, of course, if it were true.

But, like The Da Vinci Code, the movie, Angels & Demons is also fiction. Or is it? Why is the Catholic Church so disturbed by a movie that derives from a man's imagination? Is it possible that the man's imagination is too close to the truth? We all know that the Vatican hides many dark secrets, known only to a few of the most ecclesiastically-elevated poohbahs. Maybe Dan Brown hit a nerve!

Nah...

One thing, though. I may have missed it, it's been so long ago, but I don't recall any great outcry on the part of Vatican types when the producers of The Godfather filmed the baptism of Michael Corleone's child in a Catholic church at the same time he was involved in murdering his mafia enemies.

I guess the mob's one thing and the illuminati's another.