Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Roman Catholic Church introduces new translation of the Mass...

Thanks to Atheist Cartoons.

...and people everywhere are confused, angry, mystified, joyous, stunned, remorseful, leaving the church, drinking excessively, and voting Democratic.

The next major topic the Roman church will take on in these perilous times is the perennial favorite, which has never been answered satisfactorily in accordance with Holy Scripture:  "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?"

If you have nothing better to do and like to waste time you can learn everything you want to know about the new translation of the Mass by clicking here.

Friday, November 4, 2011

God declines the support of the U.S.

If there were a god, he or she or it would most certainly find the antics of the U.S. House of Representatives, dominated by Repugnicans and too many bought-and-paid-for Democrats, amusing.  Or not.  Maybe sad.  In fact, mad!  Really mad!

God, according to the Bible, doesn't give a damn about people proclaiming their trust in him.  According to  the later Hebrew prophets, God cannot abide religious ceremonies, resolutions proclaiming trust in him/her/it and similar nonsense.  He/she/it finds them abominable.

I admit that's a minority opinion among writers of the Bible in that most of those unknown authors believed God to be about hatred and killing.  God told those writers that if the Israelites would follow his laws he would help them massacre millions of innocent and unsuspecting people throughout the ANE (Ancient Near East) and take over their land.  And sure enough, that's what he did.  So the Israelites took the land, slaughtered their male enemies, raped their women enemies and smashed the heads of their enemies' children against rocks.  If you can believe the Bible. 

However, in recent years, many biblical scholars have, through intensive study and prayer, determined that the majority opinion as presented in the Bible is a crock and all these stories do not represent the true nature of God.  They have been enlightened and now realize that God is really a loving god who wishes people to take care of each other and live in peace with one another.  They believe that the god the prophets proclaimed -- a god who desired mercy and justice -- was a better god than that old SOB who gave the legendary Moses those rules on that legendary mountain!

Thus, most biblical scholars today (biblical scholars is a phrase that does not include fundamentalist nincompoops or mega-pastor asshats!) believe that resolutions such as the one passed by the House of Representatives not only do not make God happy, but piss him/her/it off to the nth degree!

In fact, some of these scholars would go so far as to suggest that God became extremely angry when the U.S. Congress, clutched in fear of the Soviet Union, decided to change the national motto from "E Pluribus Unum" to "In God We Trust" back in 1956!

He/she/it said at the time to those who listen that the facts of the matter are these:  If there is any ONE or any THING that the United States does not trust, is God.  As a whole, the U.S. trusts money, greed, the good life, hate, war, killing, etc., but does not trust in any god in any sense.  And to blather about our trust (which is really a lack of trust) in God or how much we love God when god's people are suffering and dying because of our commitment to what we really trust -- greed and money, etc., -- makes God angry as only a god can get angry.

Look what he/she/it did to Texas after Guv. Goodhair told people to pray to God to send rain.  Texas has become a desert with its rivers and lakes dry as a bone!  Guv. Goodhair, as you know, exemplifies the commitment to money and greed over the welfare of his people more than anyone in the country;  except for the governors of Florida, Arizona, South Caroline, Virginia, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Wisconsin, Ohio ...

And that should be a warning to the posturing jackasses that inhabit the halls of the Congress of the United States!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

So, who's the big tuna?

Our thanks to Greenpeace for this fine video!