Bush may convert to Catholicism?

(Photo of Bush praying. Or maybe it's gas)

George convert to the RC's? Well, why not, Jeb did! Didn't do much good. He's still just as big a schmuck or worse than before his conversion.

Vatican sources (don't you love that? What Vatican sources? I don't know!) claim that George may switch from his Methodist/Episcopal fundamentalist born-again religion to papal pontification. In fact, "Several Italian newspapers cited Vatican sources suggesting that Mr. Bush may be prepared to convert."

Well, the Catholics can have him. Maybe they could put him up in a villa in Rome. Heavily guarded, of course, with steel walls, steel doors, and windows made of steel bars. Those Swiss cops ought to be up to the challenge. Laura could come and visit every once in awhile and the Pope could slip communion to him through the slit in the door.

Tony Blair jumped ship in England, so I guess it's only proper for Bush to do the same thing. They both have blood all over their hands.

All of this speculation came about because Bush and Benedict "held an intimate meeting in Rome," talking together for 30 minutes in the Tower of St. John, a "private area in the Vatican gardens," that dates back to the 12th century. That's appropos too, as Bush would probably be much more at home in the 12th century. He could pretend he was a knight and forget he's just a failed oilman who stole a couple of elections.

The get-together in the Tower was very special, though, and indicated that "Benedict wanted to reward Mr. Bush for the 'warmth' of his reception at the White House earlier this year." Sources (there's that word again!) say that the two have grown close recently.

One problem, though, is that the Pope doesn't much care for the war in Iraq. But he might overlook that because Bush is against abortion, gay marriage and stem cell research," and he wants to "protect" marriage by amending the U.S. Constitution. Those are all pretty important issues to god and the Pope.

Bush, on the other hand is said to be pretty impressed with Catholic stuff. He appointed a couple of Catholics to the Supreme Court. He also hired a bunch of Catholics for his staff and there's a rumor that he had a priest come in to bless the West Wing.

Actually, it wouldn't be much of change for George. He doesn't have a clue about religion anyway. He's supposed to be a Methodist and goes to a Methodist church in Texas, but attends an Episcopal church when he's in Washington (what, there's no Methodist churches in D.C.?), and then he talks about being born again, all of which indicates some confessional confusion.

But there is the problem of the presidential library which is planned for the campus of Southern METHODIST University in Dallas. That could cancelled, maybe, and moved to the Vatican. Perhaps it could be placed in the Pope's secret garden. It seems most of the regulars at SMU don't want it to blemish their campus anyway.

Stay tuned.