The sky is falling, the sky is falling!

Christian Right headlines about gay marriage in California:

"Homosexual Marriage Threatens Survival of Western Civilization."

"Tragic Day for America as California Begins Court-Imposed Same-Sex Marriage."

"California Same Sex Marriage, Court Mandated Sin Against God."


These are typical of what you'll find on the various Christian Right Websites. They would like us to believe that the end of the world is upon us. Anthony Esolen, one of the wingnuts, has a book out called "The Politically Incorrect Guide to Western Civilization," in which he claims that over the past hundred years we have adopted the position "that law is simply what we make it--and whatever we want is all right."

That is very bad, says Esolen, because "It divorced us culturally from traditional values and morality, as we see daily in the call for homosexual 'marriage.' Californians may not notice the results of homosexual marriage tomorrow, but the concept of marriage will eventually be destroyed, weakening the state and the rest of the world."

Esolen is one of many so-called Christians crying "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" Rick Scarborough, president of the extremist Vision America Action, says homosexual marriage in California is "another body blow to the institutions of marriage and the family by judicial autocrats."

Scarborough, however, is a dishonest person. Among the lies he tells is that homosexual marriage in California is going to "impact everything from adoption to public-school curriculum. Church-based agencies will be forced to place children with same-sex couples or get out of the adoption business. The schools will be required to teach that there's absolutely no difference between a family with a mommy and a daddy and one with two mommies, or two daddies."

None of that is true, although it wouldn't be so bad if it were true. In fact, in many cases a family with two mommies or two daddies may be more effective in raising a child than a family with one mommy and one daddy. What makes an effective family is not the number of males or females in the family structure!

Phil Magnan, president of something called Biblical Family Advocates, says that "California has slid off its foundations into moral anarchy." He lies, too. He claims the "California Supreme Court has not only ignored the current laws of California, but have forsaken God who has given them the responsibility to uphold righteous laws, not degrade the institution of marriage which even represent Christ and the church."

Obviously, this wingnut has no clue as to what this country is all about. It is not the "responsibility" of the California Supreme Court "to uphold righteous laws;" their responsibility is to uphold the California and U.S. Constitutions! Magnan's extremism is scary. He says that the "homosexual community" is now using the government "to force their bedroom upon the general populace. [Whatever that means!] They will not be satisfied until they have sodomized the entire culture, including the family, schools and even the church which should be a safe haven for children, not hedonistic indoctrination camps."

For Magnan this is a moral crisis, and he quotes the prophet Isaiah to warn that California has "brought evil on themselves."


Before we rend our garments and begin wailing at the heavens, let's look at the institution of marriage. Because most anti-gay people consider themselves Christians and because they frequently quote specific passages from the Hebrew bible to bolster whatever point they wish to make while at the same time ignoring the great multitude of Biblical laws and traditions, we'll take a brief look at marriage as it evolved from ancient Biblical times down to the present day.

Hayyim Schauss writing about ancient marriage says "In biblical times, people were married in early youth, and marriages were usually contracted within the narrow circle of the clan and the family. It was undesirable to marry a woman from a foreign clan, lest she introduce foreign beliefs and practices."

Usually, the fathers made the marriage arrangements. The sons were the most important so far as the family was concerned because there was an expense involved - a price called mohar. In the case of a daughter, the father received a dowry.

Furthermore, because women were considered property, the daughter was usually not consulted about who she was to marry until all the arrangements had been completed.

Right wing anti-gay extremists ought to be further aware of the fact that polygamy was common in the "good old days." The Patriarchs all had multiple wives, plus often took women to bed as they pleased without making them part of the family. King Solomon, as everyone knows, had 700 wives and 300 mistresses (concubines.)

Hayyim Schauss says that "Until late in the Middle Ages, marriage consisted of two ceremonies which were marked by celebrations at two separate times, with an interval between. First came the betrothal; and later, the wedding. At the betrothal the woman was legally married, although she still remained in her father's house. She could not belong to another man unless she first was divorced from her betrothed. The wedding meant only that the betrothed woman, accompanied by a colorful procession, was brought from her father's house to the house of her groom, and the legal tie with him was consummated."

Christians will recall from the confused and contradictory birth stories of Jesus that Mary was said to be betrothed to Joseph. In other words, she was legally married to him.


The Hebrew view of women began to change even before the Babylonian exile. Gradually, "women came to be regarded as endowed with personalities just as were men." About a hundred years ago "an actual Jewish marriage record during the period of the return from the Babylonian exile was discovered--the oldest marriage contract in Jewish history. The marriage ... [took place] among the Jews of Elephantine and Assuan, at the southern border of Egypt. ...

"According to the marriage contract, [the wife] had equal rights with her hsband. She had her own property which she could bequeath as she pleased, and she had the right to pronounce a sentence of divorce against [her husband], even as he had the right to pronounce it against her. All she had to do was to appear before the court of the community and declare that she had developed an aversion to [her husband].

Another interesting point is that while most Jews lived monogamous lives, polygamy was not banned among Ashkenazic Jews until the "10th century C.E. by Rabbenu Gershom, Meo Ha-Golah (the light of the Diaspora)." In Sephardic communities polygamy has never been outlawed ..."


If nothing else, all of the above indicates that marriage has evolved through many transitions over the years. And we haven't discussed any of the hundreds or thousands of other marriage traditions in the other cultures around the world.

Stephanie Coontz, in an article titled "The Heterosexual Revolution," argues that the anti-gay Christian right is too late. Traditional marriage has already been stood on its head, but it wasn't the gays and lesbians that did it, it was accomplished by heterosexuals.

"Heterosexuals were the upstarts who turned marriage into a voluntary love relationship rather than a mandatory economic and political institution. Heterosexuals were the ones who made procreation voluntary, so that some couples could choose childlessness, and who adopted assisted reproduction so that even couples who could not conceive could become parents. And heterosexuals subverted the long-standing rule that every marriage had to have a husband who played one role in the family and a wife who played a completely different one. Gays and lesbians simply looked at the revolution heterosexuals had wrought and noticed that with its new norms, marriage could work for them, too."

Coontz notes that "traditional" marriage was upended "200 years ago, when Enlightenment thinkers raised the radical idea that parents and the state should not dictate who married whom, and when the American Revolution encouraged people to engage in 'the pursuit of happiness,' including marrying for love. Almost immediately, some thinkers, including Jeremy Bentham and the Marquis de Condorcet, began to argue that same-sex love should not be a crime."

But, says Coontz, same-sex marriage "remained unimaginable" for several reasons. One was that marriage had a couple of functions that couldn't be fulfilled by same-sex couples, one being to provide children for the labor force and the other that "traditional marriage imposed a strict division of labor by gender and mandated unequal power relations between men and women. 'Husband and wife are one,' said the law in both England and America, from early medieval days until the late 19th century, 'and that one is the husband.'"

This was believed to be the "law of God," and the fundamental nature of humans. "It stipulated that a wife could not enter into legal contracts or own property on her own. In 1863, a New York court warned that giving wives independent property rights would 'sow the seeds of perpetual discord,' potentially dooming marriage."

Coontz reminds us that in many states the laws proclaimed the husband to be "head and master" of the family until the 1970's. The man had to support the family and the woman had to "keep house, nurture children, and provide sex. Not until the 1980's did most states criminalize marital rape."

Ms. Coontz remembers, too, what many of us have forgotten -- that when the traditions were gradually dismantled, the far right howled in protest, claiming that these changes would lead to the unraveling of marriage.

And they did just that. But they didn't destroy marriage...what they did do is open "the door for gay and lesbian couples to argue that they were now equally qualified to participate in it."


One young man, a self-professed fundamentalist Christian, said that the "laws" in California were passed by non-Christians and negatively impact his life in an Eastern state. That simply baffles me.

Not so long ago, the former governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura, when asked about gay marriage, responded forcefully that marriage was between two people, and the state had nothing to say about who should or should not get married.

I think Ventura's right. Marriage is a contract two people (usually two, although we're finding a number of multiple-marriage communities in the United States). The state does not marry anyone, nor does the church. The church simply "blesses" the marriage contract two people have made with each other, and the state provides the legal framework for that contract to protect the partners in a marriage.

So, in California, hundreds of couples who have been married for years, were able finally to "tie the knot" legally. Kathi Gose, 52, who wed her partner of 11 years, Karen Briefer, 45, said "We are so happy, we can't stop smiling."

Most delightful was the symbolic marriage of Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 84, in San Francisco. They had been married in 2004 in "contravention of state law," and the marriage was later invalidated.

Joy was lighting up the state, in spite of the attempt to Christian rightists to spread their gloom and doom.

I was delighted to find that when I text-messaged God for her reaction, she sent me a picture of a big smiley face. Unfortunately, when I tried to show it to my friend, it disappeared!


Peter Montgomery, writing for the People for the American Way Foundation, wrote that "some people are greeting the newlyweds [in California] with a campaign of lies and misinformation about marriage equality."

Montgomery noted the "myths" and the "truth."

One myth perpetrated by the Christian right claimed that churches in California would be required to perform same-sex marriages. That is simply not true!

Another myth said county clerks can pick and choose which marriages they will officiate. The truth is that county clerks are civil officials who must follow the law. A civil marriage is not a religious ceremony--it's a legal contract. County clerks cannot pick and choose!

A third myth states that the Supreme Court had no right to authorize same-sex marriages. Again, the truth is that the California Constitution "requires equality under the law for all Californians," and the justices acted properly to upold that requirement.

Finally, there is the myth that this is bad for marriage. We've dealt with this one extensively above. The fact is "This is great for marriage! When two people love each other and want to make a lifelong commitment to care for and be responsible for each other, they should be able to get married. Starting today, marriage will be stronger, not weaker. Stopping some people from getting married doesn't help anyone's marriage--it only hurts those who are discriminated against and their families."


We've all heard that pious clap-trap that "The family that prays together, stays together." The Christian right has published a good deal of anecdotal "evidence" that Christian couples are more likely to stay married and have fewer marriage problems than non-Christian couples.

That is false! Studies by the Barna Research Group show that "Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience."

George Barna, president of the Barna Group, said:

"While it may be alarming to discover that born again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that pattern has been in place for quite some time. Even more disturbing, perhaps, is that when those individuals experience a divorce many of them feel their community of faith provides rejection rather than support and healing."

Which reminds me of what a Baptist minister once said: "The church is the only army that shoots its soldiers."


So, when the paragons of the Christian Right - self-righteous haters of homosexuals - claim that gay marriage will destroy your marriage or my marriage or "traditional" marriage, or any of that nonsense, remember that if any group is doing damage to the institution of marriage these days it is most likely to be the people sitting in their pews on Sunday mornings!