Saturday, November 1, 2008

Stop praying for McCain/Palin or the Revolutionary Prophecy as told to Joe Bob Godlymann

Joe Bob Godlymann is one of those unknown, unsung prophets of the biblical word. CEO of the Contrarian School, Godlymann has decided it is time to speak god's prophetic word to a world desperately in need of the truth. Godlymann has a special relationship with god, and god has spoken directly to Godlymann several times.

For example, one time Godlymann was on his knees in prayer at the Contrarian chapel, when he saw an angelic-like vision appear on the wall behind the altar. The vision spoke, saying "Be awake, Joe Bob, be alert, I shall soon return with a word from god. She is not happy!"

Another time, and this was when he got instructions where he would receive his main vision, Godlymann was waiting on the 18th tee box at Pebble Beach, thoroughly pissed as he'd previously dumped a dozen balls into the Pacific, when he heard a voice speaking in his golf bag. Startled, he grabbed the bag, turned it upside down, dumping his clubs on the ground. Unfortunately, a side pocket was open and all of his tees and his Rolex watch fell into a muddy patch.

"Dadgummit!" said Godlymann (who seldom curses). Then the voice said, "Hey, get over it, Godlymann, I'm trying to talk to you."

"Jesus!" exclaimed Godlymann.

"No," said the voice. "Jesus is a myth. I'm real. I'm the god you pray to all the time, and I've got a message for you to share with the world. If you recall, the angel you saw told you I was pissed off. Well, I am! So listen carefully."

Godlymann's foursome included a priest of the Greek Orthodox persuasion, an Orthodox Jewish rabbi, and a Roman Catholic bishop. They watched as Godlymann bent his ear to his empty golf bag.

"What the hell is he doing?" asked the bishop.

"He's always been a little weird," said the priest.

"I think he's praying," suggested the rabbi.

Godlymann stood up straight. "I heard you guys," he said. "And you're all wrong. But I've got to go now." And Godlymann, leaving his clubs strewn next to his empty bag, forgetting even the Rolex, ran toward the clubhouse. The three clergymen would not see him for several months.

The Contrarian School is based upon the book of Revolution. The book of Revolution was supposed to be in the New Testament, but certain sneaky Christians paid off the "orthodox" bishops in the 4th century to dump Revolution in favor of The Revelation of John. The bishops then systematically destroyed all copies of the book of Revolution. Except one.

The one they missed was hidden in a cave near Masada and it was discovered a few years ago by a Israeli model on a photo shoot who hid in the cave to change her bikini. Esther Zivni threw it in her big tote and took it to Tel Aviv where she locked it away in her bank safety deposit box. It was there for several months. By that time, of course, the model had lost her looks and had to go to work for the Israeli army as a recruiting officer. Then, she remembered the book and after retrieving it from the bank, she began to read it. She was astounded.

What to do? It was obviously god's word. But no one knew about it. No one had even heard of it. Then she remembered an American she'd had an affair with about a year previously. She smiled. That was a Mount Ararat experience! Esther called her former lover whose name was Joe Bob Godlymann. She had met Joe Bob on the Mount of Olives when he was on a pilgrimmage to Israel. She was, he said, his Israeli surprise.

Joe Bob laughed at first. A book called Revolution? Finally, still believing Esther had lost her mind, Joe Bob said to send it to him.

That's where it began. Joe Bob read Revolution. Out of that came the Contrarian school. Today, the Contrarian school consists of three professors and 42 students. Most of the students are refugees from neo-Pentecostalism. They arrived in great psychological torment, severely damaged, but after months of counseling, they gradually returned to their senses.

Just because the Contrarian school is small does not mean that what it teaches is wrong. The name was taken from Revolution 1:36: "Contrary to the teachings of the Christians in Rome and contrary to the Emporer Constantine, I, God, did not require a Jewish person named Jesus to be sacrificed for the forgiveness of sins. On the contrary, I do not require anything. All people are my sons and daughters and I love them and forgive them unconditionally. What I have said, at least since the age of the prophets, is that in return for that unconditional love, my children should treat each other with mercy, justice and yes, even love."

The name of the book of Revolution derives from Revolution 15:1: "The message of mercy, justice and love has always been revolutionary. The Lord calls upon all of her followers to join the revolution and help restore creation to what she originally intended."

For several years now, the Contrarian school has been studying the book of Revolution. It's main thrust is to train scholars in the book of Revolution to carry the message of God to all people. One man and two women graduated recently to enter the world with this message of mercy, justice and love, but they made a terrible mistake. They hired on as writers for the McCain political campaign. All returned to the Contrarian school terribly shaken and discouraged. Their message was not welcomed and they were scorned and disparaged at every turn.

That's when Joe Bob Godlymann received his third vision. The first vision was the angel in the chapel. The second was a speaking golf ball in the bottom of his bag at Pebble Beach, during which he was instructed to hurry to the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles in France. Two and half days later, dragging from the long flight and time change, he tagged alongside a bunch of Japanese tourists all taking pictures, into the Hall of Mirrors.

"Psst," a voice said behind a golden pedestal. Joe Bob grunted, shook his head, and went to the golden pedestal. This time he saw no figure, just a golden glow, but a voice gave him a prophetic message to share with the world. Joe Bob, stunned and fully awake now, promised he would do his best, but asked, "Why the hell did I have to fly all the way over here to Versailles and meet you in the Hall of Mirrors?" The glow seemed to glow brighter. "I don't know. I just love this place, don't you?" and the glow slowly disappeared.

That reminded Joe Bob of Revolution 33:9, where it says the Lord's ways are mostly inscrutable to mere humans.

But Joe Bob wasted no time. Upon arriving home, he sat down at his computer and began to write his now famous "Revolutionary Prophecy" e-mail. It would go to 250,000 people because Joe Bob had purchased a client list from a mole he had planted at the Republican National Committee.

The Revolutionary Prophecy:

This is a vision from the God of Revolution:

Do not waste your time praying. I don't listen to most of your whining, anyway. And stop with the anti-abortion and anti-gay stuff. I love all people unconditionally. I understand why some people might choose to have an abortion. Homosexuality is not a choice. It's part of the way things are.

There are a lot of things to do in the world and you need to get busy. Stop that damn war in Iraq, which really isn't a war anyway. That's what I call a sin. All that death and misery! And some of you claim to be my friends. Not so!

Take care of each other. That's what you're supposed to do. Take care of your young and your old. Set up an educational program that works and health care for everyone. And figure out how to feed the hungry! If any one single person is hurting, I'm hurting.

You'd better do something about the environment, too. You really messed up that one! Give up the fossil fuels. Stop with the "Drill, drill, drill." Sheesh! What? Are you a bunch of idiots? There isn't going to be enough oil for the next generation anyway! Don't you care about your children and grandchildren?

Stop, too, with the socialism stuff. I don't give a hoot about your economic systems, so long as they work and provide benefit for everyone and not just those rich SOBs who are on my shit-list anyway.

Figure out a way to talk to each other when you disagree. Bombing isn't the answer. And you must not fight about religious stuff. I don't care about any of that.

What's with the witches? Have some of you lost your minds? The only witches are the ones you conjure up with your crazy beliefs! Same with demons and devils. They only exist inside your brain. I'm sick to death of all the prayers about occultists and other crap. It's all nonsense and nothing more than the attempt of so-called spiritual leaders to gain control over huge numbers of people. I reject all of it!

I want mercy, justice and love. Is that so damn hard to understand?

Oh, one last thing. I usually don't get involved in elections in any country, but this one is pretty important. Stop with the nastiness about Obama. He's going to win and he's going to need the help of everyone. And he's a Christian, for Christ's sake!

Mercy, justice and love. Can you remember those things? And stop praying for McCain/Palin. It ain't gonna happen, and I'm really tired of listening to all that hatred and bigotry been spewed out in my name.

Let the revolution happen!



paul. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Christian said...

I'm not sure how to read this--is it satire, manifesto, fiction? Either way it is disturbing since this is a reflection of what you believe, and who you are. You are certainly full of anger.

As far as praying for something, I'm still praying for YOU.

Anonymous said...

Prayer is good but doesn’t always work. God helps those that help themselves.


Christian said...


"Prayer is good but doesn’t always work"

I'm assuming you've prayed for things and have not gotten your requests fulfilled. If you view prayer as a means of getting God to grant your wishes, then that is not only NOT biblical prayer, but it is also validating your experiences.

"God helps those that help themselves."

Quoting from Ben Franklin (Google it)? Certainly not the Bible (please show me where it says this). If you believe you must help yourself before God "kicks in" then:

"Thus says the LORD: 'Cursed is the man who trusts in man And makes flesh his strength, Whose heart departs from the LORD.'" yet "'Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD.'" (Jeremiah 17:5,7)

"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26)

I will pray for you, too, Bob. If God chooses to soften your or Jacob's hearts, then it is his Will, and not because I "wish it".

Anonymous said...

I do not bother to pray in the usual sense. God is everywhere and all knowing. He is reputed to know all including what is in our heart. Buildings do not change that. A church is not needed, nor is a man needed to interpret my thoughts to God. If prayer is effective, which are and which are not. Both sides pray for victory but only one side is victorious. Results are usually ambiguous. There are thousands of religions on God’s earth. Which is correct? Which is His latest version? How do we know He has not visited us many times, or sent a surrogate? Would we recognize him if he were an African, an Eskimo, an Israeli Arab or Jew?

I do ask questions, rather than debate the unknown. No one has ever offered proof and cannot.

Questioning worked for Socrates. It doesn’t work with people that continue to insist that their words are truth, based on the book they accept, but no one else’s worlds count. I find that ignorant, arrogant and biased. St Thomas Aquinas started with premises that were no accepted by all sides, then declared his conclusions to be proof. They were not. They merely mirrored his forgone conclusion. How do you know that God invalidated the Old Testament in favor of the new? When did he change the rules and why?

“I will pray for you, too, Bob. If God chooses to soften your or Jacob's hearts, then it is his Will, and not because I "wish it". I submit again, that if God wanted to do anything for either Jacob or me, He would do so. He doesn’t need your prayers or mine. He dowse as He wishes. When did He make any humans His spokesperson?

Bob Poris

Christian said...


Do you realize YOU are ignorant, arrogant and biased when you use circular reasoning such as "No one has ever offered proof and cannot"? You presuppose any proof submitted to you cannot be proof, and therefore is invalid! How ever will you get answers? What proof would you actually accept?

You cannot ask questions about God (e.g. why does he do this, or not do that, etc.) unless you acknowledge He exists. Do you acknowledge God?

You say: "if God wanted to do anything for either Jacob or me, He would do so" and you are right. Just understand, with an omniscient God, from His perspective, He already knows the day and time you will come to Christ (or not, from our perspective)!

My job is not to speculate when or if, but to pray that if it is God's Will, you will see the Truth and have the peace you seek.

As for "How do you know that God invalidated the Old Testament in favor of the new? When did he change the rules and why?" Well, Bob, you would have to read the Bible to find out since the answer IS IN THERE. "For if that first covenant had been faultless, then no place would have been sought for a second." (Hebrews 8:7) There's a whole book about it...if you're interested.

Anonymous said...

I do not think your insults indicate a Christian acceptance of Jesus’ thinking. I have been challenged by much worse and survived. I do not personally care what you think as long as it does not interfere with my thinking. So far, I have been polite, as I do believe you are entitled to your thoughts and beliefs. Nothing gives you the right to be rude. I think you are narrow minded and willing to accept “authorities’” views. That is dangerous to all. I still prefer to think for myself and have been quite successful in life, business, personal relationships, etc. doing it my way. I liked it when people working for me, challenged me. I learned form them. Those that accepted blindly usually accomplished little progress or change.

Prove the existence of any version of God, beyond any doubt. I do not believe it has been done, yet those that believe know it. Those that do not might keep trying. Others will accept what is and get on with their life.


Christian said...


I am sorry for coming across as insulting--that is not my goal. I was reacting to your shocking statement saying "...people that continue to insist that their words are truth, based on the book they accept, but no one else’s worlds count. I find that ignorant, arrogant and biased." Isn't that statement in and of itself the very thing thing you dislike about other's beliefs? How can you hold me to the standard of not interfering with your thinking when that is exactly what you wish on those who believe?

I am not perfect in any way, as this last exchange demonstrates, but I serve a perfect God. The Bible tells me about God, and what He expects, and what His plan is for me and the world. It is not that I am "ignorant, arrogant and biased" that other peoples worlds don't count, it is that the Bible defines what counts and I need to always view the world through that lens (if not, then why bother believing?). If someone presents an idea or thought about what God is like, I need to compare that thought to what the Bible says what God is like. If they agree, then praise God! If they disagree, I need to side with the Bible. A person looking from outside that perspective will indeed judge me as "ignorant, arrogant and biased". I am not here to please man, but God.

What I find curious is how you can judge my behaviour as un-Christian-like, yet you give every indication that you do not believe in what the Bible says. How can you argue with any authority on what a Christian is if the Bible is not the basis of your beliefs?

We are all entitled to our beliefs, you are absolutely correct, but I have already demonstrated what the Bible says on the matter. No doubt, you have been successful in this life, but unfortunately success in this life is not what matters.

Lastly,you say: "Prove the existence of any version of God, beyond any doubt." I ask again: what sort of proof, if presented to you, would you find acceptable? From your tone, I suspect there is no proof you would find satisfying. Regardless, here is your proof: "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse..." (Romans 1:20).

I'm still praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Simply because people use the terminology of Christianity as if it meant a universal truth. One claims to be a good Christian person, then sins against his fellow man. Obviously that person has a warped view of what it means. Many of Hitler’s villains attended church regularly with their families on Sunday and went out to do horrible things to people all week. They apparently do not accept the words as binding upon them. I do not ask you to believe as I do. I do not insist that only my beliefs are TRUTH. I do not try to get laws changed to conform to any book I have ever read that demands that others agree not because it is wise, but because an ancient book says so. I think all things are subject to questions. That is how we affect change unless we discover something by accident.

. That is how we affect change unless we discover something by accident. You insist that you know God’s’ plan. I insist you cannot know it, you can only deduce a plan based on a book. You are free to accept it, of course, but why should I? the Bible was compiled by men. They agreed to accept some views and not others. What happened to the ones they rejected and why did they reject them at various conferences, dominated by some that were more powerful than others? Have many changes been made to your bible since the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered that seem to indicate some changes might be wise?

Why do you reject most of the rules as defined in Leviticus but accept others as inviolate? Did God tell anyone that only some of Leviticus was mandatory? If so, which are still in effect? We do eat foods that are forbidden; wear clothing that was forbidden; cut hair, shave, sin, etc. Which are important and which are ours to decide? Why is it ok to kill sometime but not others? Murder is sometimes apparently justified in the Old Testament. Many rules are in direct conflict with others. Which does god favor and who knows which and why? If all answers are in the bible, how have we managed to have progress without god’s allowing us to find new ways? There are many questions but few real answers other than someone’s interpretation of an ancient set of books that worked in a more simple time. For those that believe, it works. It does not for all. I simply say to you, do as you wish but do not tell me to accept your truth unless I agree. People make choices all the time. Make them according to your belief and I will do the same.

Christians are good, bad, criminal and charitable. They exhibit all the sins and good of all mankind, just as all people do. There are many more non Christians in the world than Christians,. They can’t all be wrong, bad, good etc. Pious Jews and non Christians have been slaughtered by good Christians throughout history. They all believed in the same God at the same time. What makes you think the winners were always doing God’s work?

Your conclusion is based on your belief again. THAT IS NOT PROOF! THAT IS FAITH. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE



Christian said...


You ask questions which speak of God's law in Leviticus in a way only someone familiar with Old Testament law would know. Were you raised Jewish or have you just studied the Old Testament?

It is very difficult for me to answer your Biblical questions if you refuse to listen to the answers from the Bible (as in disregard it as any source of reference). The Bible answers your questions, but you have to listen to it, otherwise you should stop asking the questions (you can't have it both ways).

You ask: "Why do you reject most of the rules as defined in Leviticus but accept others as inviolate?" and "If so, which are still in effect?"

This is a huge topic depending on your familiarity with the Old Testament, however the short answer is this: God made a covenant with Israel and Moses, but a new covenant was instituted with the death of Jesus. This New Covenant opened up God's blessing to the Gentiles, and did away with all the rituals and individual rules of the Old Covenant.

Consider: "The old system under the law of Moses was only a shadow, a dim preview of the good things to come, not the good things themselves. The sacrifices under that system were repeated again and again, year after year, but they were never able to provide perfect cleansing for those who came to worship." (Hebrews 10:1, NLT)

Paul, a converted Jewish Pharisee, wrote: "Obviously, the law applies to those to whom it was given, for its purpose is to keep people from having excuses, and to show that the entire world is guilty before God. For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are. But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are." (Romans 3:19-22, NLT). If you are serious about your questions, there is the whole book of Romans and the whole book of Hebrews which are specifically speaking to the Jewish people after Christ, and you may find it interesting (even from a historic "ancient book" perspective, like Socrates and such).

Regarding your comment about who can possibly be right or have the right view; there is a theme in the Bible that the key to salvation is belief in Christ. After salvation, the primary purpose of a Christian is to live righteously and do good works. At Christ's return, He will decide who has served Him properly--it says even people who consider themselves Christians yet are slack will be chastised first. So, from the Bible, it is not for us to determine the validity of other's salvation or motives. We are responsible for ourselves and concerned about our own salvation. Many people have done terrible things "in the name of God", but does that mean God is not true, or will not judge justly?

I'm not certain about your last point on proof being faith since it is indeed by faith that I believe. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible." (Hebrews 11:1-3, NLT). How else can one begin a journey except by faith? Listen, "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6, NLT).

I've gone long here, but there are so many portions of the Bible which is relevant to your questions if you would investigate them for yourself (don't take my word for it). You've drawn many conclusions based on observation and speculation, but not studied the source, it seems.

I'm still praying for you.

Jacob said...

Hey Xtian! Why don't you use your real name when you try to convert people to your goofy fundamentalism?

Oh, by the way, you can't "prove" the bible by the bible. That is what they call circular reasoning and it doesn't work.

Unfortunately for you, that puts you out of business.


Christian said...


Have you read this thread? How is quoting the Bible any different than Bob quoting Ben Franklin? You're trying to equate "using the Bible to prove the Bible" in the sense that I'm using something non-existent to base my quotes on, when that is not the case. The Book itself does exist (I'm holding it in my hand).

Your issue is with the validity of its contents. That is a totally different matter. One exercise you can do is do further research into the history of the Bible to see the external evidences of how incredibly preserved this Book is.

Secondly, when Bob asks a question about a subject from the Bible (i.e. When were the rules of Leviticus changed) I must give an answer from the Bible (i.e. verses addressing that very question which was asked long ago). There can be no criticism on that, since a response from any other source would be illogical.

I am still praying for you, too, Jacob.

Jacob said...

To Xtian:

Chickenshit = someone who's afraid to use his/her real name when writing comments on a blog.

You are one arrogant, ignorant, condescending character!

And you need to go to a real university - not a bible school - and take courses in logic, philosophy, history of religions, anthropology, archaeology, etc.

Then, you might want to go to a real theological school like Harvard, or Yale or Columbia, or even one of the mainline denomination seminaries.

You might also try reading books that are not written by fundys.

No, quoting the bible to prove the bible is not the same as quoting Ben Franklin. You really have a hard time grasping some concepts like circular reasoning.

No one is disputing that your bible is real and that have it in your hands! What is being said is that you can't say that the bible is true because the bible says it is true!

If Ben Franklin said the earth is flat, it is easy to refute that by checking the scientific literature.

If the bible says that god created the earth and the heavens in six days, you can't say that is true because another passage in the bible says it is true. You have to find evidence elsewhere to confirm your belief. The so-called creationists think they have that evidence. But when you look at their evidence, it does not prove their beliefs, merely their theological underpinnings. So you have to go to the scientific literature which indicates that a literal interpretation of the creation stories in Genesis don't jibe with reality. Thus, you must conclude that they are mythological stories told to make a point.

Like everyone else, you pick and choose those bible verses you wish to believe. You do that, again, like everyone else, based upon your theological presuppositions. That's why you write to Bob that Jesus represents the "New" Covenant which has done away with the "old" law.

Thus, you deny what Jesus said about coming to fulfill the Law. Nowhere does he talk about a "new" Covenant. According to the Gospel writers, he was an observant Jew from beginning to end.

And why would you care about the Ten Commandments? They are a summary of the "old" Law!

What you have done is exchanged Jesus and his teaching for Pauline mythology. Paul knew not Jesus. He never refers to Jesus' earthly life or Jesus' teachings. Not once! Whenever he wishes to back up a point he is making, he goes to the "Old" Testament, and by that I mean the Septuagint. You do realize, I assume, that the early church used the Septuagint exclusively. But the Septuagint is 1/8th shorter than the Hebrew Bible. Oops!

Paul had a vision of "Christ," not Jesus! And the three versions of this vision contradict each other! Paul believed in the Platonic concept of 7 heavens. God lives in the 7th heaven as he makes clear. Christ came down to the first heaven where live the principalities and powers and that's where he was crucified. Christ is a "mystery" figure, not a real human being.

You might be interested to know that Paul was a favorite of the hundreds of gnostic Christian groups that thrived in the first three centuries. They claimed him as their own.

And what do you do with their Gospels?

The New Testament didn't just pop up fully written. In fact, the Gospels aren't mentioned in any Christian literature until the middle of the 2nd century and then it appears the writers were talking of different Gospels than the ones we have.

The New Testament as we know it wasn't agreed upon until 381. And even then, the bishops disagreed. Other books and gospels were used in the church for hundreds of years. I believe Christians in Iraq still use the Gospel of Barnabas.

The notion that Paul was a Jew and a rabbi is also suspect. The late Hyam Macoby, a Jewish scholar at Oxford, disabused us of that notion, pointing out all the inconsistencies in Paul's story and the fact that he neither thinks nor writes like a rabbi.

You further assume that you are a bible scholar. You haven't a clue, my friend!

If you were you would know certain facts: archaeologists have shown conclusively that there was no worldwide flood, no patriarchs, no Moses, no Exodus, no powerful kingdoms under David and Solomon. You would understand that those stories were created in the 7th century BCE to prop up King Josiah and his agenda to bring the people into line with Yahweh's wishes.

You would also learn that there is absolutely no external evidence for an historical Jesus! None! Even the reference in Josephus is a later addition -- it doesn't appear in his writings until the 4th century! You would learn further that the town of Nazareth did not exist in the 1st century CE. The earliest "town" with synagogue comes in the 3rd century.

And what about all those "Christ" groups that had formed prior to when Jesus supposedly came on the scene? Some stories put Jesus one full century before the Gospels!

You would also know, if you'd studied world religions that there were many so-called "Christs" before Jesus and these came to "save" the world, the were born on December 25, by a virgin, in a cave, surrounded by shepherds. The birth stories in Matthew and Luke are pure legends built upon centuries of tradition. Mark, the earliest Gospel, doesn't contain a birth story. Matthew and Luke contradict each other. John, written much later, make Jesus into a gnostic figure, the 'wisdom' of God from the beginning.

You treat the bible as a "magic" book to which you can go and pull passages out of context and make them say pretty much what you want - in order to undergird your theology.

You obviously can do that, but you are not taking the bible seriously. You are treating it as a magical charm.

Go back to school and learn something before you write any more nonsense. And you should cease expending your energy praying for other people. Your skygod isn't going to hear you anyway. Spend your time on something important.

Your comment about the history of the bible shows just how ignorant you are. How many "original" manuscripts of the bible do we have? Who wrote the gospels? Who wrote Psalms and the Song of Solomon? When were they written? What was the purpose of the Deuteronomic history? Why are the Dead Sea Scrolls important? Why is the King James Version a poor version to use? Why did the bishops want to toss the Revelation of John? What other gospels are existant and how did we find them and when? Why does the book of Acts disagree in so many places with Paul's accounts? Who wrote the Torah? When was it written? For what purpose? From what law code do the Ten Commandments derive? What Mesopotamian story froms the basis of the Noah story? How many versions of the Noah story are in the Bible? Why was Genesis 1 written four hundred years after Genesis 2?


Before you write again, go learn something that hasn't come out of the mouths of your fundy friends.

And try to be brave enough to use your real name.


Christian said...


It is unfortunate that you are so worked up over this, and the name calling is immature.

If we are doubting the authenticity of things, how do I know that your version of history is true and accurate? No, really.

Without the Bible, as you've eradicated through your history, you're left with a universe which popped into existence, randomly organized itself into structure, became intelligent (on a singular globe), and will ultimately extinct itself unless man finds a technological means to stop disease, hate, murder, lies, war, and provide enough food and energy for a population which will continue to grow out of control. There is no basis for judging "right" from "wrong". The strong should dominate the weak. Why bother to "rise above" our evolutionary roots with kindness? Where does kindness come into play in the rest of the eat-or-be-eaten world? What's the motivation, it's survival of the fittest.

You spend countless hours in angry protest writing blog entries fighting against a perceived enemy. If there is nothing more to life than these few short years, that even seems like a waste.

What a hopeless, angry, universe this is.

I never set out to change your perception of the Bible. I did set out to explain that in midst of the hopeless universe you've created, the Bible presents Hope and it is what I believe. You are so fixated on the forest, you cannot see the trees. You've certainly missed the meaning in your search for discrepancies, and you have failed to see the theme from beginning to end.

Regarding blog names; what a red herring. Who cares what name is displayed, it certainly would not have given any more legitimacy or weight to my statements.

I will continue to pray for you, since I could not live a life consumed with endless arguing. If, in the future, you or Bob have a change of perspective, you may always email me at since I will not be checking back to this site again.

As a departing thought, take Christ, in speaking about how he was changing the Old Covenant: "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust." (Matthew 5:43-45)

May God Bless you both with peace, and may you ultimately turn to Him. Goodbye.

Jacob said...

Dear Chickenshit.

Just in case you check in to see if I responded...

I have this to say: Thank you for another arrogant, ignorant and condescending comment.

But first, what does this mean: "Without the Bible, as you've eradicated through your history..."?

"Eradicated"? When you go to a real university, take a course in English, too.

Did you get the impression I'm angry? The joke's on you! I'm having a blast. This is the most fun I've had in years. It is so easy to poke holes in the raggedy theology and bibliolatry of fundys!

I also need to ask what you mean by "extinct itself." You are seriously in need of help, my friend!

What "forest" and what "trees"?

The name thing is not a "red herring," it goes to your willingness to stand up for what you believe. Obviously, you're frightened. I feel sorry for you.

Your quotation from Matthew 5 describes nothing new inherent in Jesus' teaching. Rabbinic stuff, with a flavoring of 2nd century Xtianity.

Most interesting to me, though, is that you failed to respond to my critiques and my questions.

From the first, it was clear that you thought you could do some "evangelizing." You were arrogant and condescending treating both Bob and I as prospects for Jesus and not real human beings who might have some insights to offer you.

Again, I feel sorry for you because it seems you cannot relate to other human beings without seeing them as stars in your heavenly crown.

It must be difficult to carry that burden day in and day out.

But, I'll tell you something: You'd probably find the world would be a much better place if you would step back, take a deep breath, and look at other people without the filter of fundy Xtianity. You would feel better, too.

You see, you may be a nice guy, but it's hard to tell because you come across as such an arrogant and condescending ass.

And ultimately, you're harming your cause - because you give Christianity a bad name!

Certainly you can continue to the way I wonder if sometime when you're feeling better about your life and your religion, you could describe your god to me. What does your god look like? Is your god male or female? Is your god mind or flesh or both? Where does you god live? How can your god be three different essences and still be considered one god? How does your god hear your prayers? Is there some kind of telepathic link? Why does your god require blood sacrifice when the Jews gave it up hundreds of years age, with the destruction of the Temple?

Just some things to think about.

But not to worry, I'm giving you a hard time deliberately. You see it's really easy to be a condescending, arrogant ass.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to laugh and love and have a wonderful, fun-filled life and write funny, satirical, sad, and yes, sometimes angry posts. Criminals like Bush and Cheney who walk free with blood dripping from their hands tend to make me mad. The fact that their chicanery has made a mess of the Iraq, the world and our nation, tends to make me mad.

You see, sometimes one should get angry. You may recall that story about Jesus getting angry at the money changers in the Temple in Jerusalem. The story makes no sense, of course, unless you understand it is an anti-Jewish diatribe written in the 2nd century. Money changers in the Temple weren't bad people; they were actually performing a much-needed service to help their neighbors and friends obtain the proper coinage to pay for their sacrificial offerings. The problem is the biblical writer did not know Jewish customs.

Have a nice life. But don't look for any e-mails.

I'm guessing your name is Robbie.



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