Friday, April 10, 2009

Hope for those left behind at the Rapture

The so-called Rapture is coming at any time, according to millions of christianist wingnuts around the world. For those who don't know about this, The Rapture is the name given to a delusion these wingnuts have that Christ (not Jesus) who is living in heaven with the Father, who is himself, and the Holy Spirit, who is also himself, will return to earth any minute and whoosh "up" into the sky all those who have accepted Jesus as their personal savior and believe the Bible is the inerrant, inspired word of God, and who fight the "good fight" against homosexuals, liberals, humanists and Democrats!

This delusion has been around for over 2,000 years and people keep waiting for The Rapture to occur, and even though it has been inexplicably delayed, people continue to hang on to their hope that there really is a heaven "up" there where they can spend eternity instead of as just a bunch of bones in the cold, cold ground.

One of my friends says he does not think these people "really believe" this nonsense as their lives don't portray such a belief. For example, some of the biggest promoters of The Rapture, who preach about it and write books about it, don't seem to be the least bit worried about it. They build huge mansions and fly fancy private jets and put their money into the stock market, and drive the most expensive cars, and why would they do all that if they really believed that Christ was returning any moment?

It is possible, of course, that these people are really charlatans, who are conning the naive and ignorant folks in the hinterlands and in the big cities into sending them money which will allow them to live luxurious lifestyles and continue to preach about The Rapture, even though they don't believe a word of what they're saying.

But, for the sake of argument, let's assume Christ is going to come back any day and Rapture the righteous. The rest of us will be left behind.

Fortunately, there is hope for the rest of us. You can buy several products from WhooshKlinx at ("Hope for those left behind; help for those who don't want to be.")

One of the products I like the best is pictured above - the Rapture Dogtags. You can get them here.

It is possible this site and product line is a joke. I cannot guarantee anything.

Except, of course, that whole notion of The Rapture itself is a joke!


Grandpa Eddie said...

Every few generations there will be an upsurge in the preaching of the rapture. The "religious leaders" at each time have gotten people stirred up about a "second coming" and would say the time was near. After a while when nothing had happened it would all fade away for a time until the next nut-case would come along.

With all the modern technology it is even easier for them to lie to large amounts of people at one time. They have always pointed to things around us as being foretold in their bible as to why the "end was near". It's always the same with every generation that this comes up in.

Bob Poris said...

Will it relieve traffic on Route 200? I assume ascending bodies will do more damage to airplanes than birds do. That could be a problem, isn’t it? Will oxygen masks descend from the sky in time and who will be sure to give them only to the righteous? We wouldn’t want some Jew or Muslim to ascend by error or design. Heaven doesn’t need secret a terrorists either. Frankly I wish it would come soon. It would clear the air and make a pot of people happy as they fly thru the air. As they will be nude, I shall avert my eyes.

Anonymous said...


Congratulations! You are now fulfilling the Bible which says "Come now, and let us repeat together."
Be sure to repeat what Walvoord, Lindsey, LaHaye, Ice etc. repeat what their own teachers repeat what their own teachers repeat etc. etc. etc.!
Repeat that Christ's return is imminent because we're told to "watch" (Matt. 24, 25) for it. So is the "day of God" (II Pet. 3:12) - which you admit is at least 1000 years ahead - also imminent because we're told to be "looking for" it?
Also repeat the pretrib myths about the "Jewish wedding stages" and "Jewish feasts" (where's your "church/Israel dichotomy" now?) even though Christ and Paul knew nothing about a "pretrib stage" and neither did any official theological creed or organized church before 1830!
You should read "Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty" on the "Powered by Christ Ministries" site to find out why you shouldn't repeat everything your pretrib teachers repeat.
Do I have to repeat this?

(Above exposure is on the web - Lou)

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