Friday, February 20, 2009

Suzette Caldwell and prayer to change the nation

Prayer by itself is just not enough. It's got to be the right kind of prayer. And there's got to be a lot of it. But, it you're willing to learn and put enough effort into it, you can pray the right kind of change for our nation.

Or, so says Pastor Suzette Caldwell who is president of something called The Prayer Institute, and also a pastor of Windsor United Methodist Church, a "mega-church," where hubby is the head honcho.

Pr. Suzette says anything is possible if you pray in the right way and long enough and it helps if there are a lot of people praying, too. Prayer, says Pr. Suzette, is the answer to all of our problems. In order to deal with our failing economy, our deteriorating environment, our lousy health care, global terrorism, etc., we must pray.

And Pr. Suzette knows just how to do it. In fact, she developed a Model Prayer patterned after the Lord's Prayer! Yup. And you know, the darn thing works. She was healed of her breast cancer after using this prayer and she has seen "numerous healings and miraculous answers" using her method of praying.

She and the Prayer Institute team hold classes in how to pray. And they've received a lot of good feedback - you know, "citing positive results."

Pr. Suzette is a crony of George W. Bush, which ought to tell you something. In fact, Bush appointed her to the Houston System Board of Regents in 1997 when Bush was busy screwing up Texas as governor. In response, Pr. Suzette and her Prayer Institute created prayers just for Bush and his administration.

Hah! That ought to tell you how much Pr. Suzy's prayers are worth!

It's fascinating, though, this god to whom these people pray. She must be such a wimp. She needs a special prayer or she won't listen; you just can't get her attention with a simple prayer. And she's fickle. She sure as hell didn't help Bush or our country or the world, and it seems she picks out only certain people to heal, like Pr. Suzy.

I can see her now, sitting upon her heavenly throne, robed in white, a golden, bejeweled tiara adorning her head, checking off a little checklist for the day. She'll listen to Pr. Suzy at 9:30, Fr. Pavone at 10:00, George Bush at 10:30, Tom DeLay at 10:31, Newt Gingrich at 10:31 1/2. Then it's time for coffee and a massage.

She won't listen to Obama at all, that nogoodnik socialist!

If you're still interested, you can buy Suzy's book, Praying to Change Your Life. Just go here. You might be better off, though, to go out for a beer.

There's more here.


Anonymous said...

You come across as an ignorant and angry atheist. Pastor caldwell is bringing many positives to peoples lives. What are you doing besides hating?

Jacob said...

@ Anonymous who's too frightened to leave a real name:

Love your neighbor as yourself. I love you, too, in spite of the fact that you're a frightened, ignorant christianist who knows not the Bible.

May the god of your understanding bless you and give a long, peaceful life.

Anonymous said...

Wow! There are many disrespectful people here. I think she's great ! I'm buying her book. :)

Anonymous said...

Even though I am against the concept of 'selling prayers', the person writing the above comment NEEDS JESUS!!!!! HE/SHE NEEDS A COMPLETE CONVERSION FROM THE INSIDE OUT!!!!

Jacob said...

Heh. Heh. Everybody needs Jesus. Jesus rocks! Get a life!

Anonymous said...

I listened to Suzzette Caldwell last Sunday and I found her message very incouraging. It was very inspiring, the person who wrote this negetive comment needs Christ. Once you know Jesus and invite Him into your life you will wonder how you ever lived without Him.

Jacob said...

@ Anoymouse - I'll bet you find the Sunday comics very "incouraging," too.

Perhaps you ought to listen to someone else, learn how to spell, and stop making "negetive" comments.

I'm glad you invited Jesus into your life...Where does he sleep? What did he say? Shabbat Shalom?

What are you doing with a legendary 1st century Jew living with you anyway?

Heh. Heh!

SaintBobbie said...

Thank you, Jacob for your comments and platform of expession. You give us an excellent opportuity to use Suzette's Powerful tool of God's Model Prayer. Blessing to you.Romans 12:20 SaintBobbie

kenga said...

this is for Jacob it sounds to me that you are hurt and full of anger somehting in your life has left you in terrible shape life is full of let downs and disappointments but you have to find the strength to get back up & move forward first you should accept Jesus as your savior & learn to forgive May God bless you & keep you

Jacob said...

@ Kenga - Ha, ha. Are you really serious or just seriously deluded?

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