Our economic problems means God is angry says Internet "evangelist"

[Photo of the phony Bill Keller]

All of our economic troubles are God's punishment on America for its many sins. That's according to Bill Keller, founder of an Internet site called Liveprayer.com, a man some say is the "world's leading internet evangelist."

What's to be done? Keller wants President Bush to declare December 18th a National Day of Prayer and Fasting for the Economy. Keller has set up a petition which his followers can sign which will be sent to Mr. Bush.


Keller is convinced that God is using the economy to judge the nation for its sins. Bailouts won't work, says Keller, because the problem is a "spiritual" one and not an economic one. "The answer to our economic downfall is not an infusion of trillions of dollars, but the humble prayers of forgiveness and repentance for our sin and rebellion against God."

I'll be you didn't know that!

It's interesting, however, that Keller doesn't say much about the other countries around the world that are suffering their own economic crisis. Keller also doesn't explain why God would want to punish everyone in the United States in one broad judgmental swoop. Are there no "righteous" people in Sodom and Gomorrah, er, I mean our 50 states?

We must, says Keller, "turn back to God and biblical truths. This nation was once greatly blessed by God but today we legally slaughter over four thousand innocent babies each day, we have made a mockery of God's holy institution of marriage, we worship every idol and false god man has ever created, and we live in total rebellion to God and his truth. ... We spit in the face of God every day, and now we're simply reaping what we've sown."

And this is just the beginning, warns Keller.


Keller obviously gets special and personal messages from his god that somehow other religious types are not privy to. Prominent TV evangelists like Pat Robertson and the late Jerry Falwell were certain that the 9/11 attacks were God's punishment for our nation's moral failings, but they failed to warn us of the impending economic crisis. They must have missed god's call on that one.

Keller did, however, hear from god regarding the Mormons. He has no good word to say about Mormons, and Mitt Romney. In fact, back during the Repugnican primaries, Keller warned his faithful that to vote for Romney was to vote for Satan! Mormonism, says Keller, is "a work of Satan and those who follow [its] false teachings will die and spend eternity in hell."


It's possible you've never heard of Bill Keller. If so, count yourself lucky. He's just another religious huckster getting rich off the ignorance and naivete of those stupid enough to listen to him or believe what they read on his Website.

He's got several money-making machines under the umbrella of Bill Keller Ministries, including the BK Media division and the Liveprayer.com internet operation.

But, it wasn't all candy and roses. Back in 1989, when Bill was "running from God," he was convicted of insider trading of the stock market. He "lost everything, and spend the next 2 1/2 years in a federal prison.

That's when he found Jesus again. And he went to school. His biblical "expertise" is explained in part by the fact that he got an undergraduate degree in "biblical studies" from that monument to superstition and ignorance, Jerry Falwell's Liberty University.

But every non-aligned preacher has to be credentialed and when Bill got out of prison in 1992, he was "discipled by two precious charismatic couples" (unnamed), and then received his "ministry credentials through an independent group of ministers, Spiritual Life Concepts in Largo, Florida.

In other words, he has no real biblical training whatsoever: Which is why he can come up with his outlandish and stupid beliefs.

But hey, this is a free country and religious scams make lots of money for lots of folks who don't want to get a real job.


I still wonder, though, why rotters like George W. Bush and his cronies, who are, in fact, the ones responsible for our financial meltdown, get a free pass from these phony TV and Internet preachers?

God spoke to me this morning while I was finishing my second hard-boiled egg and told me that Keller's a kook and Bush should be impeached. She also said that she had never heard of Keller until just the other day, and that she would never blame everyone for anything and she's truly pissed off and will have a special place in the afterlife reserved for the likes of Keller and his evangelist cohorts, as well as for Bush, Cheney and other nasties.