Obeying the Word of God

A friend sent me the following piece. It will be familiar to some of my readers as it has made the rounds previously. Nevertheless, while it is "satirical" and "humorous," it makes a very important point: Which part of the Bible does one pick and choose to believe and/or obey?


I am not a Biblical scholar but my understanding is that the Bible is the Word of God and should be obeyed. There are some rules that might apply if we are to use the Bible as our legal system. I know some of you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in Biblical matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. I eagerly await some answers to the following questions that puzzle me:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual un-cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 Clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear pig skin gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)


Two things:

1. If you have answers that are Biblically-based (kosher) to the above questions, we'd like to hear from you.

2. Perhaps you know of other "laws" in the Bible that God commands us to obey. Please let us know what they are and where they can be found so we can include them in our list.