Conrad Black & the Lap of Luxury

Conrad Black or, as he is also known, the Lord Black of Crossharbour, is today ensconced in a Florida minimum-security prison. He is supposed to reside there, enjoying his new surroundings and new friends, for about six and a half years. Don't be surprised, though, if Lord Black's attorneys don't find some way to spring him before that time is up.

Mr. Black, inmate 18330-424, former chairman of Hollinger International, is having all this fun because he was convicted of fraud and obstruction of justice last year. He and his wife stole money from Hollinger shareholders to finance a garishly lavish lifestyle.

I think when you're done reading this, you'll agree that 6 1/2 years in prison is insufficient to pay off his debt to society. But, we're not the judge nor the jury and they have spoken. And maybe he'll learn a trade while in the can and he can do something useful for the rest of his useless life.

A little background on Mr. Black:

He was born in 1944 in Montreal to rich parents who had profited nicely from a brewing company. At one time Mr. Black owned the Daily Telegraph and 400 lesser papers in the U.S. In 1992, he married a journalist by name of Barbara Amiel.

The Black's lifestyle:

* Two Park Avenue apartments in New York. One was for the servants.
* The butler had his own American Express card.
* Leased Gulf Stream IV jet - $3-4 million per annum. $3,500 for silverware aboard the jet.
* $90K for refurbishing a Rolls Royce used as Lord Black's personal automobile.

The following were items expensed to the corporate account:

* Handbags for Mrs. Black - $2,463
* Jogging clothes for Mrs. Black - $140
* Exercise equipment - $2,083
* Leather briefcase - 2,057
* Stereo equipment - $828
* Opera tickets - $2,785
* Summer drinks - $24,950

Mrs. Black was also paid $1.1 million dollars per year by the corporation to do nothing. That wasn't quite enough, so the corporation gave her extra compensation for her work as a "writer."

The corporation paid $42,870 for a birthday party for Mrs. Black at a New York restaurant. (Attending were, among others, Oscar de la Renta, Barbara Walters and Ron Perleman. The meals were $212 per plate. Evidently, Conrad had a twinge of conscience and kicked in $20K of his own money toward paying for the party).

Think about Conrad Black the next time you look at your paycheck and wonder how the heck you're gonna make it 'til the end of the month.

But remember, he's in prison and you're not. Today Mr. Black is not driving his Rolls Royce or flying about in his Gulfstream jet. He's likely working in the laundry (for 23 cents an hour) or as a carpenter or plumber (for $1.15 an hour) at the Coleman Federal Correctional Complex in Florida.

Six and a half years still doesn't seem long enough, though.