Friday, December 19, 2014

What Would Jesus Do ... About the War on Christmas?

The other day I was talking to Jesus and I mentioned the "War on Christmas." He started laughing uproariously! "That Bill O'Reilly is such an idiot," he said. "And I can name another hundred idiots just like him. But they're really not worried about a 'War on Christmas,' they're just trying to get some publicity so more people will watch them and send them money.

 "Christmas isn't about me, anyway. And I sure as hell wasn't born on December 25! Some nutcases in the 4th century of the Common Era (notice I don't go for that B.C., Anno Domini stuff) took a bunch of different traditions and made up a winter holiday.

"Before that, in Rome, the people celebrated the birth of Mithras, who was born of a virgin in a cave on December 25, surrounded by shepherds. In fact, in Rome on Mithras Eve, the people held all kinds of wild parties in the streets with lots of Mitras carols and hymns to Mithras. I remember thinking it looked like fun.

'Then, that rascal Constantine came to power - and by the way, he didn't see any 'cross' in the sky, he just made that up to frighten his enemies - he ordered that a new religion called Christianity - and that wasn't about me, either - was to be the religion of the Empire.

'The poor Mithras believers had to change or be killed."

"That's interesting," I said. "But what would you have me tell my readers about this faux war on Christmas here and now?

And that's when he put this little poem in my head. As he left me, he said, "Tell them, Hanukkah is a lot more fun, anyway!"

Some say there's a war on Christmas.
Others say that's just not so!
Some say Santa's but a myth.
Some "Boo," and "Ho, ho, ho!"

Seems we've got ourselves a mess.
Folks are feeling sad and blue.
We should ask one little question,
What, you think, would Jesus do?

He'd not be seen at Wal-Mart stores,
Or walking up and down the mall.
He might go hiking in the woods,
To keep from climbing up the wall!

He might attend a jolly party,
And try to do the cha, cha, cha!
He wouldn't go to church, for sure.
He'd celebrate Hanukkah!

@ 2006 & 2014 by Lowell A. Anderson
All Rights Reserved

1 comment:

William Kendall said...

Good one!

I often think Mr. O'Reilly is really very unhappy with the state of his life. Hence the whole being a cluster-douchebag of the first order.

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