A really good lawyer vs. the bureacrats

People like the late Ronnie Reagan and other B-grade movie actors cum politicians enjoy pretending the guv'mint is bad and that we need less guv'mint interference in our lives. They say such things, not because they are stoopid, necessarily, but because they live on the basis of outdated credos and slogans geared to keep the hoi polloi in their place.

But, it ain't so. The guv'mint is not about size, it's about effectiveness. With more people and a more complicated society and with more white collar crooks out to steal billions from the rest of us it is important to have an guv'mint that does not aid and abet the crooks, but effectively protects us from these big-time predators, almost all of which carry the Republican nametag.

Unfortunately, sometimes the guv'mint, like all big organizations, gets bogged down by bureacrats who are themselves mired in minutae.

Here's a story how one man fought back against such bureacrats:


A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply, and this is the actual letter:

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

This reply pissed off the lawyer. So he sent the following response to the FHA, and this is the actual letter:

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureacrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.

"Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory.

"Now, may we have the fucking loan?"


Update: The lawyer got the loan for his client!


Our thanks to Bob Poris for this delightful story!