Tony Zirkle - Any moron can run for Congress

(Photo from takingdownwords.com)

A couple of years ago a moron from Indiana decided to run for Congress. We did a rather long and derogatory essay detailing exactly why he could only be described in moronic terms. We thought he went away for good. It was not to be. The moron is back.

His name is Tony Zirkle. He's a lawyer. He's a born-again Christian. He's a Republican. He's also a total whack-job; a true fruitcake. He gives new meaning to the term "wingnut." And the moron is once more running for Congress.

One of the causes for which Mr. Zirkle has become infamous has to do with the guillotine. Zirkle thinks it would be a good idea to restore this fixture of the French Revolution -- the guillotine -- to use on "porn pimps."

Another of his favorite dreams has to do with segregating African-Americans in separate states. In his own words: "While we are brainwashed with respect to integration and forcing everyone to be together and basically all arguments to the contrary are silenced, historically it's very often been the case that you have to segregate and apartheid people to stop the continual war.

"Is [desegregation] working? I don't know. You can't say there is no argument to the contrary. Yes, there have been many advances, but there are still many problems."

What would Zirkle do with Hispanics and black Latinos in his segregated states? He would "pretty much lump [Hispanics] in with whites." What about black Latinos and people of mixed races? Zirkle says "You'd have to let people declare what culture they want to be living in."


Tony also talks to the Almighty and She told him She definitely does not like sex - or any sex other than with one's spouse. And that's why he called a press conference at his law offices to shred a copy of the first Playboy magazine (for which he paid $1,200 to obtain on the Internet).

After consultation with the Almighty, Zirkle said that shredding porn will make men have sex with their wives and that will result in a national economic rebound. The economic thing comes from this belief: "...if more men were married and in healthy relationships" they would release their creativity and untapped talents.

He is the "pro-sex" candidate, he said, and this shredding of a valuable copy of Playboy is setting "an example for men to put away their pornography and focus their attention on their wives."

I think he's being very sexist. Did the Almighty tell him to tell wives to put away their pornography and focus their attention on their husbands?


Zirkle thinks he is called to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ, but he'd also like to win the war in Iraq. How to do that? Well, Zirkle's convinced that "Balkanization by ethnicity" would work. It could go this way (according to Wonkette.com):

"...unite the Kurds in northern Iraq with the millions of Kurds in Turkey, the Sunnis in the center with Jordan and Shia in the South with Kuwait."

You could call those new states "Turkurdistan," "Jordiraq," and "Kuwaitimesopotamia."


Obviously, the man does not have both oars in the water, but that's not all of his craziness. Just recently, Zirkle went to Chicago (not too far from his South Bend, Indiana home) to speak to a weekend gathering of the American National Socialist Workers Party.

That's the Nazi Party and the kooks were gathered in Chicago to celebrate the 119th anniversary of the birth of Adolf Hitler.

Zirkle said he spoke to the group about his experience as state's attorney and he preached the gospel of Jesus Christ and handed out material on the life of Jesus.


Not surprisingly, only 30% of the Republicans in his district support him. In fact, Chris Riley, chairman of the St. Joseph County Republican Party, told WSBT-TV that "[t]he 'R' next to Tony Zirkle's name does not stand for Republican. It stands for 'repulsive.'

Ouch!

But, you know something? Zirkle isn't that much different than a bunch of other Republican lunatics currently serving in the House of Representatives.