Wednesday, August 5, 2015

So You Want a Day Off?

A Day Off

[This is an email response from the boss to an employee when the employee asked for a day off.]

So you want a day off?  Well, let's take a look at what's involved in such a request.

There are 365 days per year available for work.  There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.  Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. 

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks that account for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available.  With a one-hour lunch break each day you have used up another 48 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend two days per year on sick leave.  This leaves you 20 days available for work.  We offer five holidays per year, so your available work time is down to 15 days.  We also generously give you 14 days vacation per year which leaves you only one day available for work and I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!

[Source unknown]


William Kendall said...

I'm reminded of a sign when reading this: "Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves ~ The Management."

Bob Poris said...

Can that apply to Congress and other employees of the citizens of the USA, paid by us, also the citizens of the USA, with suitable penalties for criminal acts and violations of their oath of office, preferable with public executions and confiscation of all pay/ Public disgrace can be excused unless the family was complicit in the crime. If the guilty party likes animals, the pictured lovely Cat could be the companion while awaiting execution.

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