Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Anne Romney, the stalwart if stupid wife

Okay, maybe Ms. Romney isn't stupid.  Maybe she's all screwed up because she's a Mormon.  I mean, really, who the hell can believe the crap in the Book of Mormon?  Or perhaps she's dumber than a doorknob because she's a Republican.  The Republican well doesn't go very deep.  Or maybe she is still pissed because the majority of Americans didn't think her elitist wingnut husband was fit to sit in the Oval Office.

Whatever, Ms. Romney, in contradiction to the evidence, tells those who still listen to her that the U.S. is in deep caca because all the ignorant poor people who did not inherit a massive fortune voted for Obama (quite possibly a Muslim) who has, in a mere six years, ruined this fine country which was built on solid Christian values.

Oh dear.  Not only so, but says Anne, Mitt is a real man.  Well, she didn't say that.  I mean, she's a genteel rich lady and to say something that crass would make her sound like a normal woman.  No, what she said was that Vladmir Putin would not have dared invade Ukraine if Mitt the mutt was el presidente because Putin is afraid of Mitt the mutt.

There would have been consequences, says Anne, if Mitt was in charge of wars and stuff.  And Putin knew that.  Putin knew in his heart of hearts that Mitt would have probably invaded Ukraine and run the Russians right back into their crummy Kremlin with Mitt leading the troops on his gallant steed, Geronimo, named for a wonderful Native American.  Well, Anne didn't say anything about the Kremlin or Mitt leading the troops on horseback.  She didn't want Mitt to look like a horse's ass.  He can look that way without any help from her, thank you very much.

Psst.  Word is out that Putin just got word of Anne's wordy comments and he hasn't been able to stop laughing for two hours, 45 minutes, 37 seconds and counting!

So, the moral of this tale is, don't vote for the wrong man for president; especially if you think war with Russia would be beneficial to the United States.

If you want war, vote Republican.  Republicans do like war.  Their friends in the military and in the military supply business make a ton of money some of which always finds its way into the coffers of certain political types who lean into the Republican wind.


William Kendall said...

No one, and I mean no one, can take seriously a man with the nickname Governor Mittens.

I'm pretty sure I'm blacklisted in Salt Lake City. I once had a Mormon roommate. One day I came home, one of his elders was outside looking for him, and I inferred in what I said that the Mormons were like the mob: both operated on a hierarchy structure, both used goons to keep their people in line, and both controlled cities in the American desert. The elder looked pissed. A week later the roommate moved out.

Professor Chaos said...

Geez. . .
Putin invaded Ukraine while Obama was President. He invaded Georgia when Bush was president. He obviously doesn't give a shit who our president is. He's got to know that even Bush wasn't insane enough to risk war with Russia (although apparently Mittens is)

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