Herman Cain, God and the GOP (Goofy Odd People) Candidates

It was inevitable, I suppose.  Just a matter of time.  One wonders, though, why old Herman didn't come forth with this revelation previously.  It doesn't make sense.  If, indeed, his god called his name and said, "Herman, I want you to run for president of the United States," then we would expect old Herman would have trumpeted this from the rooftop of every pizza place in the country!

But old Herman did not do that.  He said nothing about god calling him to run for president until today, November 12, 2011.  Old Herman's been flitting all over the country yammering about his 9-9-9 tax plan (by the way, please note if'n you turn that upside down you get 666!  Yikes.  Maybe Herman is the anti-Christ!  It's not Obama after all!  Jesus, save us!) and about how he didn't make any sexual overtures to all the women coming out of the woodwork claiming that old Herman is a groper, and about how only he's smart enough to be president 'cause he's a business man you know!

And god loves him 'cause he's against abortion.  Well, he may be against abortion but then again he thinks that women ought to be able to choose.  Nope.  That's not right, either.  Maybe old Herman can clarify his position before election time.  (It's also reported by the woodwork women that ol' Herman don't much care for the "missionary" position)!


None of this god stuff is true, of course.  Old Herman's just saying that 'cause his reputation has taken a nose dive amongst the fairer sex in the last week or so.  And it is a matter of principle with ultra-fundamentalist Christian crackpot Repugnicans running for office that god speaks to them and is backing their candidacy.

One problem is this:  Which god are we talking about? The nasty old SOB of the Hebrew Bible who loves to murder and rape and steal land?  Or are we talking about the god of the Jesus character who seems a bit more loving.  Well, until you get to the part where everyone who doesn't confess the name of Jesus will burn forever (and that's a long, long time) in terrible hellfire.  That god sounds a lot like the old SOB of the Hebrew Bible.

Doesn't matter.  Neither exist.  Well, except in the minds of people like Herman Cain who hears voices.  Oh, and Michele Bachmann who also insists that this same god called her to run for president because she so much smarter than the other mucky-mucks running against her.  Wait!  This same god has also been talking to Ricky Perry, the governor who has screwed up Texas so badly it's soon gonna lose third-world status!  Yep, Perry the guy who can't remember which multi-billion dollar agency he's going to shut down which will mess up the country so bad it will become like Texas and put thousands of people out of work, claims that god has called him to become president.  He even had a big prayer fest (for fundy Christians only) in Houston where the most radical nutcases on the Christian right came by to pump his hand and let the masses know god wants Perry in the White House.


Please read this carefully:  ANYONE who claims to speak to some unfathomable deity out in space is NOT qualified for the presidency or any other elective office.  He or she is clearly insane with an imagination that is bound by neither reason nor common sense!

This does not let Mitt or Newt off the hook.  Ol' Mitt can believe anything he wants because with his record he shouldn't be elected to any position of responsibility.  But when you add to that the nonsense that Mormons believe he's got an even bigger problem.

Gingrich, the serial adulterer, has the gift of gab, but he, too, has fallen into a snake-filled pit of religious nonsense and has not a clue as to what he's about or what he believes.  He's always been a man to seize the moment and easily bends with the prevailing wind in order to do so.

I'll just mention that other kook, the "libertarian" Ron Paul.  He may talk to god, too.  But he's so crazy not even the god of Cain, Bachmann and Perry would talk back to him!

Forget Rick Santorum.  No god would talk to that wingnut!

According to our Constitution, there is to be no religious test for political office in our country.  And that's as it should be.  But when these fruitcakes try to gain votes by pushing their religion as if their religion is the most important thing about them, the situation is turned on its head.  Now, we've got to toss them out of the presidential ring because they have established a new and unwarranted religious test!  They think that only people who believe as they do should be elected president because that is what their god wants! 

They are people of "faith."  Not a single one of them accepts the validity of science or reason.  Facts don't matter.  Faith matters.  They don't believe in climate change even though the fact and the consequences of global warming hit them in the face every single day.  God promised in their precious holy book that he would never again destroy the people of earth and they have "faith" that this promise found in an ancient folk tale written by men ignorant of the most fundamental knowledge about the earth is true.

They would destroy our country by living their "faith."

You remember James Watts, Reagan's Secretary of the Interior who argued that he need do nothing to protect the environment because the Rapture was going to happen soon and Jesus would return and it would be all over!


And now, Herman Cain, supposedly a viable candidate for the Republican nomination for president in the year 2012, said:

"I prayed and prayed and prayed.  I'm a man of faith.  I had to do a lot of praying for this one, more praying than I'd ever done before in my life.  And when I finally realized that it was God saying that this is what I needed to do, I was like Moses.  'You've got the wrong man, Lord.  Are you sure?"

Sadly, this resonates with millions of our fellow citizens.  We have never left the 16th century.

I'd say, "God help us," but this time we're on our own.  And we know it.