A Vegas hooker once told me that the word “love” was invented by men to get free sex. No wonder she’s a prostitute.
Valentine’s Day was probably invented by the flower, chocolate and jewelry industries. A day for showing love? As cynical as that hooker.
“I love you” are the most selfish words in the English language and should never be uttered, unless it’s between a parent and a child. Anytime anyone told me “I love you”, I replied “Prove it”. I knew it was so many meaningless words. If it were true, I wouldn’t need to hear it.
There was a movie, where Gena Rowlands plays a freshly minted, comely widow in rural America. Suitors come calling with flowers, professing their admiration. One day she hears a noise in her front yard. The quiet neighbor (James Garner?) from across the street is chopping her firewood, because it needed to be done. To hell with flowers and fancy words, make yourself useful and indispensable. How are the words “I love you” going to improve my life? It’s merely someone telling me how they feel - it’s all about them, not me. But if they spontaneously start doing my dishes… now that’s got my interest.
In fact, uttering “I love you” has ruined many promising relationships. My gay friend Dana had his eye on a young man - they started going to the movies, dinner and fooling around. Two weeks in, Dana declared his love and the young man fled. I said, you did what? Why did you suffocate a nice thing before it had time to develop? Well, I needed to know where I stood, said Dana. Now that’s pretty selfish. I tell you where you stand - alone. Nobody needs your insecurities.
Anyone can land anyone, regardless of looks, providing they can make themselves indispensable - Yoko Ono is the living proof. Pamela Digby, a homely daughter of a minor baronet, landed Winston Churchill’s son, the dashing producer Leland Hayward and one of the richest men in the world, Averell Harriman. She set her sights, entered their lives and attended to every detail of their comfort - they’d be lost without her. Not for her roses on Valentine’s Day - she had her eye on the entire fortune. Widowed, as planned, she could get her own bloody roses.
On the flip side of romance, I believe that marriage, especially when children are involved, is forever. You found your soul mate, now provide and protect them. Saying you fell in love with someone else is not an option - it’s more like fell in lust. Maybe pre-arranged marriages of yesteryear were more durable - no expectations and no disappointments.
The notion of love is big business, especially for songwriters, film makers and wedding planners. Wedding planners? Most weddings cost more than a down payment on a house. The formal weddings I’ve attended have been stressful and phony affairs - the only happy people were the drunks.
Why do people get so despondent when their loved one leaves them? If you truly loved them and they’re content with someone else, you should be glad for them, not angry.
True love means someone having your back now and forever - anything else is bullshit, especially chocolates on Valentine‘s Day. Diamonds would be better.
Image by Wolynski: only in Vegas could Michael Jordan marry Joan Collins… that can’t be right. And there's a drive-through window.
Our thanks to Wolynski for this guest post. Please check out Wolynski's blog here.
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