Leigh Devore, in Charisma Magazine, says that "Romance is one of God's most unique specialties. He brought the world's first couple together, and He still delights in arranging marriages."
That has to be one of the stupidest statements I've read in a long time.
It goes downhill from there. Leigh Devore has a lot more to say about her wonderful matchmaking god who "brought the world's first couple together."
That doesn't make sense, though. In the most recent creation story (Genesis 1) god created the first couple as a couple. The older and more primitive story (beginning at Genesis 2:4) says the woman was created from the rib of the man. She was "Adam's rib." So, to say God brought them together is really incorrect.
One problem is that Devore doesn't really tell us how god brings couple together. And that's pretty important. She does provide suggestions for singles who want to get married and singles needn't worry because "He [god the matchmaker] has a purpose for all single people and works above and beyond anything we could ever imagine--even when it comes to finding love."
Even if you're single, remember god loves you anyway and has a plan for you..."God has a plan in marriage."
Devore then introduces a bunch of psychological gobbledegook about being single and how singleness is OK and you should value yourself even if your single, and you should be happy being single, blah, blah, blah.
But if you want to get married, you "can and should pursue a mate." That doesn't follow if god was doing the work, if god's working to find the one "right" for you.!
It's not that easy, I guess. Devore says singles should wait "'the right way.' That is: 'Don't get desperate. Get deliberate before the Lord.'" And that means "to pursue wholeness and maturity in Christ", which, in practice "can range from learning how to make a bed to getting out of debt."
"Marriage is never about 'me. Marriage is always about the other person."
Most of this is, of course, a crock of religious psychobabble!
We still haven't figured out how god is a matchmaker, though. Devore quotes Amy Smalley, a family and marriage counselor, who says, "Ask God to play the role of matchmaker, even if you're using the services of eharmony.com or Match.com. We call it 'praying your way to a great mate.'"
So I guess you've got to pray to god to be a matchmaker for you. He can't figure out you want to get married by himself.
You pray and then, zippydedoodah, your "right" mate will show up, cause you can be confident "that He knows who would be best suited for us in lifelong marriages."
No, wait a minute. It doesn't work quite that way.
'Cause you can't rely only on prayer! You're got to get out and look around! Go to churches other than your own. Have your friends and family set up dates for you. Get involved in other social groups and organizations. And, by all means, join an online dating service.
Sheesh!
This is truly moronic stuff. If fact, you can take god out of the equation and nothing changes. It all boils down to fairly typical advice for singles. Devore even gives out hints as to how to work online dating services. God really isn't involved.
Maybe it's this kind of "godly" nonsense that is the reason for so many divorces among the so-called evangelicals and born-againers. These groups have a higher divorce rate than do either mainline Christians, or Jews, or people who don't go to church.
If god is a matchmaker he has a really lousy record!
5 comments:
I wonder if God approves of divorce or not? Does anyone actually know?
Bob Poris
Yeah, That's Great! It would seem like the Matchmaker would be diligent in weeding out those who aren't serious about getting into relationships. I think that's the hard thing about online dating as well as the traditional way. Not too many folks would spend that kind of money and not be serious. Great post i look forward to reading more.
Sydney
Online Dating
"These groups have a higher divorce rate than do either mainline Christians, or Jews, or people who don't go to church."
What do you base this comment on?
@ Shawn - Numerous polls in recent years, including a poll from the Barna Group.
I agree that the kind of advice the article dispenses is misguided at best--even moronic, but, in all fairness, I don't think it follows that the divorce rate is higher among evangelicals because of such bad marital guidance or advice--godly or otherwise. It's not the fault of a particular faith or belief system if some, or even many, of its adherents don't actually adhere to the tenets of that particular faith. I consider myself a former evangelical and I can tell you from my own experience that it is true many evangelicals don't really practice what they preach. It's one thing to claim to be a Christian and quite another to actually walk the talk. I have trouble with the whole idea of self-identification in polls in general, though, much less by confused individuals.
Incidentally, not to belabor the point, but according to a recent report I found on Barna's site the statistics don't really support the claim that their divorce rate is much higher. Close to equal, but not really higher. Let's just say it's high. :-)
(see New Marriage and Divorce Statistics Released, 03/31/08, on barna.org)
Your point is still valid, though...the article is stupid.
Post a Comment