Why Texas should secede

I'm all for Texas leaving the union.

Texas, these days, seems to be full of racists, rednecks, nogoodniks, neanderthals, stupids, morons, Repugnicans, and assholes. This became obvious when I watched a bit of the so-called Tea Parties held in Texas which had nothing to do with tea or anything else that made sense. What sense can be had from the fact that every idiot who participated in a tea party and makes less than $250K a year is being given a tax cut from the Obama administration? Huh?

As we've said before the Boston nogoodniks who tossed tea into Boston Harbor so long ago were pissed, not because they had to pay taxes, but rather because they had no representation in Parliament.

The present-day Tea Partiers, ignorant morons that they are, are not only represented in Congress but are actually getting tax breaks from the government!

Which means that most of this noise was pure racism. They just don't like a black president!

That's not to deny there are lots of good folks in Texas, but it looks like they're just gonna have to immigrate to the United States.


The secession of Texas would be wonderful! For one thing, it would save the rest of us a ton of money. Rick Perry, the moronic governor of Texas, is telling the people of Texas that the federal government is a like a vampire, sucking the financial blood of the hardworking folks living in the Lone Star State.

Rick Perry is a liar. For every dollar Texas sends to the federal government, Texas gets 88 cents back! That's one of the highest ratios of all the states and almost double what most receive in return for their dollar.

So, actually, we might say that Texas is like a vampire, sucking the financial blood of all the rest of us!


I've put together (quickly) a list of some of consequences of Texas' secession. You may think of many more and can add them to the list.

1. No FEMA in cases of natural disasters.
2. No FAA to keep airplanes from crashing into one another and into the ground.
3. No military to protect Texas.
4. All military bases in Texas will close and be transferred to the United States.
5. No more scientific research grants.
6. No grants to Texas' universities.
7. No federal loans for Texas college students.
8. No mortgage assistance for people buying homes.
9. No small business loans.
10. No Medicare.
11. No Medicaid.
12. No Social Security.
13. No federal aid for hospitals.
14. Texas will have to pay the United States for the Interstate Highways.
15. No federal money for road construction or other infrastructures.
16. No border patrol. Texas will have to set up its own border patrol.
17. No federal prisons.
18. No national parks.
19. No education funding.
20. The Houston Space Center will be relocated.
21. No more special allowances for oil companies located in Texas.
22. No federal courts.
23. No FBI.
24. No DEA.
25. No CIA
26. No OSHA.
27. No FCC.
28. No EPA.
29. No FDA.
30. No Veterans administration or veterans hospitals.
31. Here's a list of other federal assistance to Texas (and other states) and these will all be discontinued:
a. Aid to Families with Dependent Children
b. Alcohol, Drug Abuse, and Mental Health Services Block Grant
c. Child and Adult Care Food Program
d. Community Development Block Grant
e. Conservation Reserve Program
f. Federal Pell Grant (mentioned above: loans to college students)
g. Food Stamp Program
h. Head Start
i. Local Law Enforcement Block Grant
j. Section 8 Housing Choice Voucher
k. Temporary Assistance for Needy Families


I know this list is woefully incomplete. Please feel free to add to it.


One other thing. Chuck Norris wants to be president of the Republic of Texas. That would serve 'em right. I'll bet he's almost as smart as Ronald Reagan, another B-grade movie actor who knew from nothing.

Oh, and George W. Bush could run for president of Texas. He damned near ruined the state while governor, and he did ruin the United States, but, what the hell, Texans will probably give him another change. Tom DeLay could be vice-president. He's even more immoral than Cheney! Karl Rove could be attorney general and waterboard everybody who didn't agree with him!

The NRA would be given a special seat in the Legislature to make sure that every single possible kind of weapon be available everywhere guns are sold to everyone without regard to race, creed, sex, or even age!

White Supremacist elected to Palm Beach Republican Party seat

This from the Pensito Review.

Derek Black, 19, ran for and won a spot with the Palm Beach Republican Party. Black is the "son of a former Ku Klux Klan grand dragon ... and ... is now fighting his own party, which is trying to deny him his seat."

Defending Black is none other than America's favorite racist "and former KKK grand wizard David Duke."

"Derek's daddy, Don Black, runs Stormfront.org, the oldest continually running discussion board for the 'White Nationalist Community.' When he was 12, Derek contributed to a kids page on Stormfront and today helps Daddy Don with his podcasts on the "Racialist discussion borad for pro-White activists and anyone else interested in White survival.'"


You may wish to send a note to the Palm Beach Republican Party, reminding them that what goes around comes around. Tell them they are a bunch of nogoodniks who must take at least part of the blame for the election of the idiot George W. Bush in 2000. Tell them that Republicans have pandered to the racist element in our country for so long that racists naturally gravitate to the Republican Party. Tell them they should keep Derek in their ranks for he represents a good portion of their base. Tell them they can't deny their dark and devious and evil past by pretending all of a sudden they don't want an openly-racist character to play in their back yard.


The original Pensito Review article and a humorous follow-up can be found here.