Clean your dirty, rotten souls with SOULWOW!

The Roman Church shouldn't do stuff like this...it's too easy to mock.

From AP: "In a YouTube parody of the popular ads for ShamWow absorbent towels, a priestly pitchman named Father Vic calls on Roman Catholics in Brooklyn, Queens and Long Island to partake. As Father Vic says, 'Nothing soothes the soul like a true confession.'"

It must be working. The number of folks wanting to clean their dirty, rotten souls has increased.

Heh. Heh.



Check it out: http://www.soulwow.com/

The Catholic god does not want Obama to speak at Notre Dame!

That's right. How do I know? Because the Catholic god's papal pontificators, those MEN who don't have sex and wear dresses, are screaming bloody murder. Yup, a good Catholic school like Notre Dame, they say, should not, indeed must not, allow the President of the United States to deliver the commencement address this year!

Absolutely not! He is pro-choice, for god's sake. And he has not condemned condoms. He obviously does not respect Pope Ratzy!

Several bishops have said so. Catholic pundits have said so. Newt Gingrich has said so.

What? Why the hell does Gingrich care? I mean, I know he's an asshat, but what possible reason could this disgraced politico with a peanut brain and no morals have for wanting Obama punted off Notre Dame's commencement agenda?


Heh. Heh. Old Newt, serial adulterer, facile liar, famous asshat, either became a Roman Catholic over this past weekend or will become a Roman Catolic on Easter Sunday (There seems to be some confusion about the time). Yup. Now his allegiance is or will be to the Pope and not the devil. Hmmm.... No, I'm not gonna say it!

Anyway, old Newt, the ignorant former perfessor of history, said that "It is sad to see Notre Dame invite President Obama to give the commencement address since his policies are so anti-Catholic values."

Heh, heh, again! This from a thrice-married bum who got tossed out of Congress on his butt, who wouldn't know an ethic from a enema.

Not only so, but the Political Machine has a bit as to how, back in 2005, Gingrich spoke at Catholic University. Some righteous Catholics got their skirts in a bunch because they said Gingrich supported the death penalty and was noted for his infidelities and thus "violated the school's prohibition against speakers with positions contrary to Vatican teachings."

[This has nothing to do with the subject, but I wonder how an institution can call itself a "university" when it cannot teach anything contradictory to "Vatican teachings," or have a speaker on campus who might be construed as having values contradictory to "Vatican teachings." That's not a university, that's a incubator designed to pump out mental midgets from a Catholic mold.




Thanks to Daniel Florien at Unreasonable Faith.

The Pope, Poverty, AIDS and Africa

I'm going to tell you a story:

Once upon a time, a very rich, old man with his own country inside of another country lived in a huge, beautiful castle which was adorned with much gold, precious paintings, and thousands of priceless artifacts.

Although he was not married, he was surrounded by many other old and young men, most of whom wore skirted robes like the very rich, old man.

These men all worshiped a Jewish guy who died over 2,000 years earlier, and the castle was dedicated to this Jewish guy, named Yeshua or Joshua, or in Greek, Jesus. According to the tales written down in a collection of ancient books, Jesus was never married, so perhaps that's the reason these men do not marry. This is strange, because one would also think that all the men in this group, known as Roman Catholics, would also have to be Jews. But that is not the case. In fact, the group has actively persecuted and killed Jews over the years and even today many of these men do not like Jews. And they claim to worship a Jew. It's a conundrum.

While they are all supposed to be celibate and virgins, stories have come out that a goodly number of them have mistresses and others like to have sex with other men, even though having mistresses and having sex with other men are forbidden by their Jesus; or so they claim. Quite a few of them like having sex with very young children -- mostly boys -- and that has caused some problems in the church, especially when it was discovered that almost all the big cheeses in the church had, for years, tried to cover up the fact that the skirted men were abusing little boys and girls.

The old rich man is called pope, and he is the biggest of the big cheeses in this group that worships the Jesus person, who they claim is God. The pope seems obsessed with sex, as he insists not only that the other men cannot get married, but that all people who worship Jesus in the way the Pope does cannot have sex outside of marriage and cannot use any contraceptive devices.

The pope, who is very rich and lives in his own castle in his own country within another country, is so serious about this anti-contraception business that he will not allow his people to use condoms even though it has been proven condoms can save lives.


One day not too long ago, the pope and a number of his skirted minions flew off in luxury jets to visit the continent of Africa where there are a growing number of Roman Catholics. Many of the people in Africa are very poor. Many of the people in Africa have a terrible disease called AIDS.

Before he went to Africa, the pope made it clear to all Catholics as well as everyone else that he was opposed to the use of condoms. When someone pointed out to the old, very rich man, who lives in a castle in his own country within another country, that condoms could help stop the spread of AIDS in Africa, he became quite upset, religiously upset, and not only insisted that condoms were forbidden, but that, in fact, condoms were "aggravating the spread of AIDS."

No one knows where he got that information. It is not in his holy book, and it can't be found anywhere else, so many people think the pope made it up and criticised him for making a false statement.


When the pope got to Africa, he again stated condoms were bad and Jesus would not like them, and Catholics must not use them, and if some people got AIDS and died, oh well, that's just too bad, but one cannot defy the church's rules and go to heaven and live forever with Jesus and the popes!

It is ironic, as many have noted, that this very old, very rich, celibate man believes he has the right to tell other people what to do with their sex lives.

Then the pope, who is very rich and lives in a castle in his own country within another country, talked about poverty. Now, there are a lot of nasty people in the world, and some of them pointed out the irony of this very rich old man, who lives...well, you know, calling for Africans to do something about their poverty. I mean, he does live in a castle with much gold and all that other stuff.

Even more ironic was his call for African leaders to confront corruption. Everyone knows that his own group, the Roman Catholic Church, is a leader in the corruption field. In fact, some say that the Roman Catholic Church is the most corrupt organization in the world at the present time.


You may think I'm deliberately mocking the Roman Catholic Church and the very rich old man who lives in a castle in his own country within another country, and that may be true, but everything I've said so far is true, too!

But now something quite humorous has occurred. The Italian Catholic Church (Italy being the country within which the very rich, old man's own country is located) became very angry with people like me who dared to criticize or point out some of ironies mentioned above.

In fact, Italy's senior bishop (that's another very rich, old, celibate man who runs around wearing dresses, talking about sex) said angrily: "We will not accept the pope being made the object of mockery and offence, in the media or elsewhere."

Wow. You can see he was religiously pissed off!

Then Bishop Angelo Bagnasco went on to say: "He [the pope] represents for everyone a moral authority, which this journey has made people appreciate even more."


Well, I think Bagnasco is wrong. First of all, no cares what he thinks. And he can object all he wants to mockery and offence of the pope in the media or wherever, but it doesn't matter. He can't tell the media or anyone what they can do or say.

Also, to say the pope "represents for everyone a moral authority" is just silly. I mean, c'mon. He's just a very rich, celibate old man, who wears a dress and lives in a castle in his own country within another country and who presides over one of the most corrupt institutions in the world. How can he represent anyone's "moral authority."


I think Bagnasco is wrong. I think the pope is wrong. They have no moral authority whatsoever.

Anyone who would try to ban condoms knowing such a ban means the death of thousands, perhaps millions of human beings, cannot claim moral authority.

Finally, I have to say I've read a little bit about this Jesus guy, and this very rich, celibate old man who wears dresses and lives in luxury in his own castle in his own country within another country, doesn't resemble the Jewish guy at all.

First Catholic pregnant priest now the mother of Finn

The Ecumenical Catholic Communion considers itself to be part of the one, holy, catholic church. The Roman Catholic Church says "no," it is a heretical group. There is only one, holy, Catholic Church, and that's the Roman one founded by the apostles and Peter and all those guys and that has been in business since the first century.

Heh, heh. Nice mythology, but not true. Heh, heh.

Sts. Clare & Francis is an ECC church in Webster Groves, Missouri. It is led by Frank Krebs, a former Roman Catholic priest, and by Jessica Rowley, 26, who was ordained as a Catholic priest about a year ago.

ECC churches welcome all people, but is especially attractive to those who have been "marginalized" by the Roman Church -- divorced folks who've remarried as well as gays and lesbians.

Pastor Rowley was raised a devout Roman Catholic, attending Catholic schools in Chicago. She received an Master's of Divinity from Eden Theological Seminary in St. Louis. Eden is an established, highly-respected seminary, and though affiliated with the United Church of Christ and the Disciples of Christ denominations, has a thoroughly ecumenical approach.

Her husband is a pastor of the United Church of Christ.


Pastor Rowley gained a certain notoriety when she became pregnant last year. She was, many said, the very first pregnant Catholic priest. She gave birth to a son, Finn, on November 21, 2008. She and her husband said at the time they planned to baptize Finn in both the Catholic and UCC churches.

Rowley does not belong to the association, Roman Catholic Womenpriests. She doesn't claim to be a Roman Catholic. She is not tied to the Vatican. As a result the St. Louis Archbishop is leaving her alone. Archbishop Raymond Burke excommunicated two other women who were ordained as Roman Catholic priests last year.

He doesn't care about Rowley as he doesn't consider her to be a "true" Catholic. There is only ONE Catholic church, says a spokesman for the St. Louis Archdiocese. The ECC is not truly "Catholic," and thus the Roman Church doesn't really care what they do. "To be Catholic, authentically," saith the spokesperson, "is to be in union with the Pope and the bishops of the Catholic Church."

Of course it is. Furthermore, if too many people defy the authority of the Pope and his skirted Cardinals, chaos could result. More women would want to ordained. Lay people might want to have a real say in the organization and operation of the Roman church. Priests might even get married (legally). Pretty soon folks would have the gall to get divorced and come right back to take Holy Communion. All the gay priests would insist on coming out the closet.

"Jesus Christ, what a mess that would be!" saith an anonymous cleric wandering vaguely down a a long, narrow Vatican hallway.


Ain't religion wunnerful?

Oh, here's what one loving Catholic Christian said about the Rev. Rowley: "...this woman is neither catholic nor priest is more of an animal trying to celebrate the Holy Eucharist in front of the divine."

And another: "She is Not A Catholic Priest Period..."


Read more here. And here.

Moving from Purgatory to Hell

As regular readers of this blog are aware, I enjoy tweaking the dingy dogmas and pious prelates of the Roman Catholic Church. Sometimes, there's so much good stuff to gig, I can't help myself. But, I figure it's a big institution and I'm really no threat to its ongoing survival.

On the other hand, I really enjoy tweaking christianist fundamentalists for their horrific doctrines and pietistic pretensions, especially their penchant for grinning while consigning those who disbelieve their particular delusions, to everlasting hellfire.

So, here's a treat for you.

Click here, and you can get a "comical" view of how fundamentalist christianity would move you from the danger of Purgatory to the fear of Hell. As to the latter, only the fundy Jesus can save your poor, decrepit, sinful souls. As you shall see.

h/t to The Secular Outpost

The bioethical Vatican document

[Representatives of the "updated" Roman Church]

About a month ago, the Vatican put out a document defining its stance on various bioethical issues.

The following are immoral, according to God's poohbahs in Rome:

Artificial insemination (and other fertilization techniques)

Human cloning and freezing embryos

Embryonic stem-cell research

"Morning-after" drugs (or any drugs that block a pregnancy, such as the RU-486 drug). Such drugs, as well as the IUD, are considered "within the sin of abortion."


You will be glad to know that the Vatican document, known as "Dignitas Personae, an Instruction of Certain Bioethical Questions," is the Vatican's method of bringing the Roman Catholic Church "up to date with recent advances in science and medicine."

Heh. Heh.

"Sorry, Galileo," says the Pope, 400 years too late!

About 400 years ago, a scientist/astronomer by name of Galileo discovered by virtue of a telescope that the earth was not the center of the universe and the sun did not revolve around the earth. Then this upstart know-it-all scientist had the gall to publicize his findings.

You wonder what got into him. Church dogma clearly stated that the sun revolved around the earth and the earth was the center of everything because it was the center of God's creation. Galileo was no dummy. Naive maybe. But he must have known what the Church did to people who questioned its "truth."

Galileo was not burned at the stake. He got off easy. He was merely forced to recant his beliefs to avoid excommunication and an eternity in hell. Some say he recanted "tongue-in-cheek," knowing that the clergy were a bunch of ignorant dumbasses.


It took a few hundred years, but in 1992, Pope John Paul II apologized (to whom?) and said that the church's denunciation of Galileo was "a tragic error."

You betcha.

I wonder how many hundred of years it will be before some other Pope John or Paul or Pius or Leo or Benedict will apologize for other "tragic" errors? How long will it be before the Roman church says, "Oops, yeah, we were wrong about celibacy, women priests, homosexuality, gay marriage, contraception and condoms, abortion, and stem-cell research, among other things."

Too damn long!